Listening is the act of seeing another person.
Truly seeing.
Hearing is different than listening. Seeing is different than being seen.
When we are truly being listened to...we know it.
We feel the depth of another human's investment in seeing us.
In their taking in of what we are sharing.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to be seen/be truly listened to.
I recorded an episode of the Manage with Meaning podcast with Susie Taylor and Courtney Schultz.
They held the space for me to share my thoughts about listening and its role in leadership.
What I learned that I didn't know before:
- Listening is a practice of our soul: We talked about how to create the conditions for true listening, and the core message...it's caring for the being who is the vessel of the act of listening.
- Listening has three actors: You, the person you're listening to, and the space you're in. As a leader, choose space with intention. As a person being listened to, be empowered to make recommendations based on the conversation you need to have.
- Empower teams with a framework for organizing our thoughts to make it easier to listen: BLUF (Bottom Line Upfront), SBAR (Situation, Background, Assessment, Recommendations), and Situation-Complication-Resolution are three useful frameworks to ensure your team organizes before 1:1s, meetings, or asking if you have a minute.
To become a better listener, start with listening to yourself. Create a journaling practice that allows you to write stream-of-consciousness thoughts. Clarity comes AND you empty some space.
Capacity is needed to move into a new day filled with a team who has ideas, questions, suggestions, solutions. Some of our deepest stress and most surface listening is the result of a lack-of-capacity to imbibe anything more.
Yesterday, I was truly listened to.
I know because of how I felt.
I know because by the end of the recording, we had co-created entirely new ideas for all of us.
That's the magic of listening.
It's not a ping-pong match of checklists and periods.
It's a generative experience.
Of giving and receiving.
Of building and creating.
Of gratitude.